Tick Tock. Have you noticed the clock always moves forward? (Sans reverse daylight savings time.) We turn to the next calendar page; we cannot go back. The generations move on. I used to be part of the “sandwich generation” where I cared for my aging parents, raised a family, and worked full time.
Now my husband and I are retired, and our parents have passed away. It will be up to the next generation to care for the collective “us.” According to the United States Census Bureau, in 2022 there were eighty million Americans sixty and over.
To put it in context, eighty million is over nine New York Cities or two Californias, spread across the nation.
To further complicate the picture, according to the Alzheimer’s Association, approximately seven million people are living with dementia. This number will increase as the baby boomers age.
Are younger people adequately prepared to meet the needs of their ageing ‘care partners’ (those requiring care, both presently and in the future)? Not if they were like me – I was busy. The truth is, if your care partner lives long enough, they may become medically fragile.
I surveyed a handful of young people about their biggest worries as their parents age. Answers include insufficient money, not having the time to balance work and home obligations, inability to find safe housing or a home care service when needed, and “will they know me?” One person is concerned about abuse and neglect in the elderly service industry, and another one said, “I’m afraid I will fail.” Their worries are legitimate, so in this article I suggest three steps families can take now to mitigate a crisis before it happens.
First, a major concern is the availability of financial resources. Are there pensions, 401Ks, or other savings? Do they have long term care insurance? Are there outstanding mortgages or other debts? People are often hesitant to discuss financial assets and debts – especially with their offspring. The financial picture may be surprisingly optimistic – or gloomy. Either way, knowledge is power. Older and younger members of a family need to break down barriers and plan together.
Second, every person eighteen and over should have the following legal documents in place: (1) power of attorney for financial and property matters; (2) medical power of attorney, including a health care directive; and (3) a will. It is important to prepare these documents while a person can make their own choices.
You may be able to access certain legal documents for free off your state website. For complex situations experts advise obtaining advice from an attorney. Elder care lawyers specialize in helping seniors plan, and they can interpret complex laws.
So – would you rather spend a lesser amount of money ahead of time to get the necessary paperwork in place, or spend thousands of dollars in court to establish guardianship? The first true story in my book, “Remarkable Caregiving,” tells of a family who did not have the proper legal paperwork in place for the mom. The daughter had to go to court in another state to establish guardianship, and then report everything she spent on her mom to the court. She tells how she had to resort to kidnapping to get her mom home! (Read the story to see how that turned out.)
Congratulations – a power of attorney document is in place. However, if your care partner is incapacitated and you do not know where they bank, how will you pay their bills? Thie third step is to ensure you can find your care partner’s important documents. I needed my parents’ marriage certificate, car and home titles, military service information, and more to apply for veterans benefits and medical assistance.
I can help you with that problem. On https://nancyrpoland.com/caregiver-resources find a free downloadable “Important Documents Checklist” to record the location of documents, and identify critical contacts. Download and complete copies today, both for your care partner — and for yourself.
The population numbers are daunting. Not only are the numbers of “us” older people going up, but the number of future caregivers is going down. You will have to care “smart.” Begin now to look at your own care partner’s situation. Both sides, the elder and younger among us, must take responsibility for planning for the future. Tick tock, the clock is moving.
Nancy R Poland, Grace’s Message
With grace and hope, Nancy Poland provides written and spoken communication on caregiving, loss, and other valuable topics. She owns what she calls a “micro-business” named “Grace’s Message,” however she has many years of experience in the business world.
In December 2022, Nancy retired from NMDP (previously National Marrow Donor Program/Be The Match) after nearly 28 years of employment. She most recently worked as a Contracts and Compliance Manager and spent over 18 years in management as a people-leader. Nancy has a Bachelor of Arts in social work and a Master of Arts in Health and Human Services Administration. She has authored two books on caregiving, issues a quarterly newsletter, and offers both in-person and virtual presentations.
A life-long resident of the Twin Cities in Minnesota, Nancy and her husband John raised two sons and continue to contribute to their communities, travel, and work on solving British detective shows.
As a working caregiver, Nancy encountered dilemmas such as the following, with no good choices.
- The phone rings, an ambulance is bringing her mom to the hospital (again). Does Nancy stay at work for the rest of the training session, or should she race to meet the ambulance and mom at the hospital?
- Dad is in the care home, in the later stages of dementia. The only day they schedule monthly family conferences is Thursday, no later than 2:30. Should Nancy take a half day off work, leave work and come back, or dial in, and miss out on a face-to-face conversation.
Working caregivers struggle with job obligations, caring for their loved one, and often other family responsibilities. The one they are caring for may be a child with special needs, an aging relative, or an unexpectedly injured spouse. None of us know when we will be called upon to care for another, and trying to balance each facet of life can be a recipe for disaster. When a caregiver has a crisis, it affects not only the ones involved, but also the company.
Studies show caregivers often have increased absenteeism or reduced performance while at work. They often need to cut down work hours or quit. As this is especially true for caregivers of older adults with significant care needs, for this talk I will focus on ways companies and caregivers can partner together to address the ever-increasing needs of caregivers for our aging population.
Website: https://nancyrpoland.com
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